The Boundary Between Who You Were and Who You Are Becoming: How to Embrace a Fall Reset

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Something that doesn’t get talked about enough is the awkward stage between who you were and who you are becoming.

We talk about transformation like it’s neat and linear: one day you make a change and suddenly you are your best self. But that’s not how growth actually works. The truth is, there is a messy in-between. A space where you’ve started making changes, but you haven’t fully stepped into the version of yourself you’re becoming.

I often compare it to that stage between childhood and being a teenager. Your body is changing, your identity is shifting, and it feels uncomfortable. You’re not who you used to be, but you’re not quite who you’re going to be either.

The good news? This is normal. It’s actually a sign that you are growing.

The Boundary

That in-between space, the boundary between who you were and who you are becoming, can feel unsettling. Your routines might not fit anymore. Your relationships may shift. You may look in the mirror and not quite recognize yourself. And that’s okay.

This is the growing pains part. The part that needs to happen in order for you to step into the elevated version of yourself. Just like a seed breaking through the soil, this stage can feel awkward and uncertain. But it’s also where the magic begins.

How to Embrace a Fall Reset

Fall naturally invites us into this process. The leaves are letting go, the air is shifting, and everything slows down. It’s the perfect season to check in with yourself.

Here are some ways to embrace your own reset:

• Take inventory. Notice where you are right now. Are you still waiting to make changes? Are you in the thick of them? Or are you beginning to see the results of your hard work?

• Celebrate what’s working. Growth isn’t only about fixing what’s wrong. It’s also about noticing what’s going well and leaning into it.

• Listen to your gut. You already know where you’re being called to shift. Pay attention to the quiet nudges that tell you when it’s time to let go or when it’s time to step forward.

This reset doesn’t have to be a dramatic overhaul. It can be as simple as choosing one habit to release or one new rhythm to create.

The Role of Self-Compassion

Through this entire process, the most important thing you can practice is self-compassion.

Growth is not always graceful. Some days you’ll feel like you’re taking leaps forward. Other days, you’ll feel like you’ve slipped back into old patterns. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

Here’s a question I often ask myself: if a loved one came to me with the same struggles, what would I say to them?

I’d probably encourage them, remind them of their strength, and tell them they’re doing better than they think.

Offer that same compassion to yourself. You deserve it.

Wrapping It All Up

The boundary between who you were and who you are becoming may feel awkward, but it is a powerful space. It means you are changing, growing, and stepping into more of who you’re meant to be.

This fall, I invite you to embrace the reset. Take inventory of where you are, celebrate what’s working, adjust what needs shifting, and treat yourself with compassion every step of the way.

Even the smallest action can become a turning point. Remember, growth isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. And you are exactly where you need to be on the path toward who you are becoming.